


you were romeo, i was a scarlet letter (and my daddy said, "stay away from juliet")

by sapphea



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: (sorta? this exists in a universe where everyone lives together and homophobia doesn't exist), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Meeting the Parents, part of the ktlrgcu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 07:49:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17076287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphea/pseuds/sapphea
Summary: Some "meet the parents" are easier than others.





	you were romeo, i was a scarlet letter (and my daddy said, "stay away from juliet")

**Author's Note:**

> i have so many wips. this is not one of them.

Taking in the beautiful upstate scenery, lush and green and alight with the sound of birds chirping, walking hand-in-hand with his boyfriend, Kyle Gutierrez comes to the conclusion that he is going to die.

“Babe, chill,” Pietro says, pressing a kiss to his cheek so fast it feels like an electric shock. Kyle tries not to find it endearing, but that’s a losing battle. “You’re not gonna die.”

“He’s gonna kill me,” Kyle replies blankly as their feet carry them closer to his impending doom. “Your dad is Magneto and he’s going to kill me the minute I step onto campus.”

Pietro scoffs. “He’s not gonna kill you.” Kyle gives him a look. “Okay, at least not as soon as you walk into the mansion. The egghead’s been teaching him patience.”

Kyle nods. “Cool. So I’m gonna walk into Xavier’s fine, but as as soon as he sees me and, like, smells that I’m baseline, he’s gonna rip the iron from my bloodstream and _kill me_. _Magneto is going to kill me_.”

“He hasn’t killed anyone since the 70s, I think he’s over that phase of his life,” Pietro reassures him.

“It’s 1981!”

“Exactly, that’s going on two years. That’s a _really_ good track record for him.” He gestures to the wrought-iron gate they’ve come to. “Besides, we’re already here. Too late to turn back now.”

“I can’t believe my boyfriend is letting me walk to my death,” Kyle mourns. “A death which will be carried out by his own father.”

“Magneto is not going to kill you!”

“Who isn’t Magneto going to kill?” Magneto asks, descending from above like a purple Grim Reaper. That costume really shouldn’t be intimidating, Kyle thinks somewhere in the back of his mind, but the rest of his brain is too busy being intimidated as hell to acknowledge it.

“Me, please,” Kyle blurts, then slaps a hand over his own mouth. Magneto looks down at him like he’s a mud stain on the bottom of his boot. Kyle, for his part, firmly does not piss his pants.

“Dad!” Pietro grins, vibrating in place just a little. “We were just coming for a visit!”

“And who’s this other part of _we_?” Magneto asks, still glaring at Kyle. No, he’s not _glaring_ —that would indicate too strong an interest. It’s more like he’s resting his eyes on the space that Kyle happens to inhabit, and he’s not too pleased at the view.

Pietro, somehow, vibrates at a higher frequency. “This is my boyfriend, Kyle.”

He thinks Magneto raises an eyebrow, but with the helmet, it’s kind of hard to tell. “And what can he do?”

Kyle tries to smile. “I’m the fastest runner in the state?”

Magneto looks less than impressed. “I _meant_ , what’s your—”

“He’s baseline,” Pietro interrupts, and Kyle’s heart seizes at the thought of _interrupting Magneto,_  and then stops completely as Magneto, his boyfriend’s dad and known anti-human... activist, takes in the fact that his son brought home a human.

His face seems to freeze for a few moments, then Kyle’s watch gets much, much tighter around his wrist. He gasps involuntarily and flinches out of Pietro’s grip.

“Oh my god, Dad,” Pietro groans. “You’re totally overreacting here—”

“Overreacting?” Kyle wishes Magneto had shouted that, but instead it was a deadly whisper. That’s so, so much scarier than Magneto shouting. Magneto shouts all the time. Magneto whispering makes the hair at the back of Kyle’s neck stand up. Or, that might be him manipulating the electromagnetic currents with his mutant powers.

Kyle breathes deeply. In three, out four. _Don’t piss your pants in front of Magneto. Don’t piss your pants in front of Magneto. Don’t piss your pants—_

There’s a weird groaning sound, and Kyle realizes that the front gates are bending. Towards them.

 _Don’tpissyourpants don’tpissyourpants ohjesusyou’regonnadie butdon’tpissyourpants pleasedon’tpissyourpants don’tpissyourpantsintfrontofMagneto pleasedon’tpissdon’tpissdon’t_ —

“Now, what’s all this commotion?” asks a new voice, and that same voice, but much closer, adds _Oh, you’re new!_

Pietro groans. “Great, now baldie’s involved.”

Professor Xavier smiles beatifically. “Hello, Pietro. Who’s your friend?”

“Boyfriend,” Kyle says, surprising even himself. Professor X’s smile widens.

Pietro rolls his eyes. “Charles, this is Kyle. Kyle, this is the egghead who runs the place.” He gestures vaguely to Magneto, who seems to be gathering a small whirlwind of metallic debris around him. “Can you deal with him, please? He’s freaking out for no damn reason.”

“No reason?” Magneto demands, and okay, maybe Kyle shouldn’t have wished for shouting earlier. Magneto shouting in person is so much more intimidating than it is on TV. “Not only are you bringing a _human_ into what is supposed to be a _human-free environment_ , but you’re telling me you’re _romantically involved with him_ —”

“Dad, please,” Pietro says. “I get it, really, but we’ve been together for eight months now and I love him.”

Professor X holds up a hand. “Pietro, of course we love and accept you—”

“I wasn’t talking to you, cop,” he snaps without looking away from Magneto. Professor X sighs. “Dad, come on. You were fine when Wands had mind-babies with a robot!”

Kyle hasn’t heard _that_ story before. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Not now, babe,” Pietro shoos him quiet.

Magneto sputters. Magneto can sputter? “I—That’s completely different!”

“ _You_ married a _liberal_!”

“If that’s supposed to insult me—”

“It is, baldie, but I’m talking to my dad right now!” Pietro zooms up to within inches of Magneto, and since he forgot to let go of Kyle’s hand, he’s dragged there with him. He really, really wishes he wasn’t this close to Magneto right now, or ever.

“Look,” Pietro says. “You know better than anyone that we can’t control who we love. Just because I’m dating a human doesn’t mean I’m abandoning the movement, or that I’ve changed my mind about anything.”

“I’m pro-mutant rights,” Kyle pipes up. “Like, entirely. We suck so bad.”

Magneto glares at him, then looks at Pietro for what feels like years. Finally, with a sigh from Magneto, the gates groan back into their original position. “Is he Jewish, at least?” he finally asks.

“Um, agnostic?” Kyle says after a beat. “But I’m taking a Hebrew class. And I’m open to, uh, considering my options?”

“Couldn’t even find a decent Jewish human,” Magneto mumbles to himself. But Kyle’s watch stops cutting off the circulation to his hand, so he might possibly survive this encounter. “Watch yourself, human,” he says finally, then rises in the air and hovers back towards the mansion.

“Drama queen,” Professor X mutters. Then, _It was nice meeting you, Mr. Gutierrez. Please, feel free to explore the grounds. Mi casa, su casa, you know the saying_. And, with a smile that can only be described as “professorial,” he wheels back towards the school.

Pietro, for his part, just takes Kyle’s hand again. “That went pretty well,” he remarks.

Kyle looks over at him, eyes bugging. “Sorry, that’s things going _pretty well_?”

“Well, he didn’t kill you,” Pietro points out. “And all you got for your trouble is a pinched wrist.”

Not for the first time, Kyle wonders if dating Pietro is going to lead to his demise. But then Pietro kisses him, and he can’t find it in himself to care one way or the other. _Plus_ , he thinks to himself, _I didn’t piss my pants in front of Magneto. That’s got to count for something_.

Pietro pulls away after a moment. “Okay, cool, let’s go!” he says. “Wanda’s been dying to meet you, and I think you and Darwin will get along _great_!” He blurs for a second and suddenly Kyle’s been pulled through the gateway and they’re heading towards campus proper.

“I really am gonna die,” Kyle says again, but he squeezes Pietro’s hand and walks towards the mansion, head high. Everyone dies eventually, right? At least he’s got a wild ride on the way there.

**Author's Note:**

> as usual, this is for steph. she knows why.  
> everyone else: i hope you had fun? i guess? fully this was written for two people and one of them is me

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [we're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time (it's miserable and magical)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18636667) by [srididdledeedee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/srididdledeedee/pseuds/srididdledeedee)




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